


Reconciliation ain't an apple far from the tree

by joouheika



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Dubious Consent, F/F, Gen, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-09-07 07:24:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8788918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joouheika/pseuds/joouheika
Summary: Soldiers tell a tale unlikely told.





	

It'd been way too easy for her to gain approval of this from their superiors, her friends (she is still shy on calling them that) joke. But as she is the Queen, she should be giving some orders shouldn't she?

With the aristocracy suppressed, the King overthrown and she the Queen to take his place. Historia had been wondering amidst the rapid changes of their society and their roles, what else could she do to help? She'd enabled the revolution to be, secured the planning of another operation to take back Wall Maria, and had gotten permission and help to school and house abandoned children (mainly from the underground) orphaned by war or circumstance like herself.

Her big sis Frieda had taught her much on the topic of helping others, and striving to match her wisdom and the kindness that'd been asked of her- Historia had remembered... that book. That her sister so loved to read from to her, telling tales of old, stories that were lessons of days past. Fables more than fairytales (but is a fairytale really a fairytale if it is not a fable?) There'd been a story... that reminded her of their present. Where was that book? If she could find it, it would help her and everyone, is what she'd been thinking. She'd been searching for it. At that place where a family she'd not known outside her father and her eldest sister had dwelled, under its wreckage, in the many offices and closets of the aristocracy who'd been hoarding banned books, the storages of the military police likewise. She'd not found it in any of those places. Vexed but not undeterred, she'd thought of more places it could be. Thinking this next place to be obvious. Historia had figured she'd need more people to cover the massive library of the seized castle of the once royalty. So enlisting the help of those of the 104th Trainee Squad who remain... yes, her friends- they'd been searching, from morning to night but... to no avail. 

It is not here either.

After hours of tirelessly scanning titles, sorting piles and making piles (Historia choosing books she think will be interesting or useful to the children as well), they go about their own curiosities.

Armin has gathered stacks of books he'd like to read, practically dizzy with excitement at all these books he hasn't read. Mikasa is guarding everyone, leaning against the double doors, listening to all who pass by while keeping within the corner of her eye- Eren who is speaking to Historia. Both discussing where else the book might be. An almost sour expression is on her face, seeing their prolonged interaction. An expression not captured in the cool contours of the picture Jean is trying to draw discreetly. Unsure if his skills will ever be good enough to capture Mikasa's true beauty. Connie and Sasha snicker to the other overhead as they pass by. Running about on the upper floor, not the sort for books, they've been playing a sort of mix of tag with hide and seek to ease their boredom.

Jean glares up at them, a mixture of hoping they won't say anything about his drawing knowing it'll just be a tease, but half hoping they will say something to draw Mikasa's attention to him. Neither occurs, and sighing to himself he contemplates on if a sharper pencil will be better.

Armin looks over the towering stack of books he'll be taking once they leave, wondering if he'll be able to carry them all... certainly not... he knows Mikasa certainly could, and Eren definitely would help if he wasn't already preoccupied.

Before Historia had called for Eren to see if he could help out with the rest of them, he'd been where he'd been the past couple of weeks. 

In Captain Levi's room.

The Captain had been dealing with a relentless fever that Eren was determined to bring down. He'd not left the Captain's side all but for necessities in tending to the Captain. And had only been convinced to leave Captain Levi's side at his success for such toil. Captain Levi was on his way to a sure recovery, but Eren's anxiety was still there. Luckily Hanji and Erwin had popped by for a visit, and warning that Eren worrying and fussing too much might cause a relapse... had successfully driven Eren out for the moment. Their goal was to give Eren a break, despite that Levi had some very choice words for them about them on making Eren leave him. Words, they only used against Levi to convince Eren that he was close if not already better to be swearing at them like that. 

Presently, Eren is no doubt trying his best to help Historia... because she is his friend, and so he can hurry and return to the Captain.

Armin looks over to the two, noting Mikasa's frown in the distance. A different sort of displeasure on her face than the type he sees when Eren is with Captain Levi, but akin to it.

He's about to suggest they call it a night, recognising the furrow of Eren's brow to mean while he'd not like to give up and won't, if he actually _cannot_ give up is another matter entirely. Before Armin can clear his throat to try to get every one's attention, Historia says (and Armin is quite sure she is as stubborn as Eren on some points) voice starkly louder than it'd been during the earlier parts of the conversation she and Eren have been having-

"Let's try it Eren! There were times I felt it was working! Maybe with a goal in mind, one of us will remember something!"

At this Mikasa jerks out of her steady and still stance, her not so obvious glare, obvious as she whips her face around to fully look. From Historia who is willfully looking up at Eren, and then to Eren nodding in agreement towards her.

"Got it. I think you're right. If we try under these circumstances... maybe I... or you, will remember something."

Sucking in a breath, readying himself- Eren holds out his hands, palms up before Historia.

Historia nodding back, places her hands up over Eren's, sweat already at her brow.

Touching, then holding onto each other's hands...

Armin understands what they are doing. Historia had been able to resurface some of Eren's memories as well as some of her own by touching his back. This had been before they'd been saved by them and Captain Levi, in that cavern of sorts. They'd tried it again with varying results, wondering if they needed those crystals that'd been around the cavern to make a connection... since they found reconnection to be lacking elsewhere. They'd sit for hours sometimes, hand in hand, or Historia with a hand at his back or shoulder and vice versa, trying to find or feel something, anything that could reclaim what they'd once thought was lost.

Because Frieda's consciousness among others' are still residing inside Eren; the memories of her days, her experiences, her knowledge, should be somewhere inside Eren too.

If they had not the book, they had at least the memory of it through Frieda... or Historia. If only she could recall it vividly. Not all her memories had returned, but knowing they could be returned... Eren thinking likewise to his own. They'd engaged in this tactic many a time, hoping for anything.

Mikasa has moved from the door. Her footsteps loud and heavy on purpose, trying to distract Historia and Eren who are looking into the other's eyes in complete concentration. Tsking when it does nothing but alarm Jean who'd been drawing her at a completely different angle.

Sasha and Connie have stopped to lie down. Some snacks of bread and cheese, a few apples laid about them as they settle amongst blankets they've strewn across the floor. Watching what happens below as they munch away. Wondering what's for dinner and if they'll get to have it soon.

Armin sits down on the large chair at the work desk that's at the centre of the library. Scooting the chair forward, he flips through some of the books he'd brought together. Then, looking through what's left on the desk. Old papers, used and unused, quill and ink he tests worrying if they're allowed to use or not. 

Overhearing Eren murmuring, wondering aloud, were they not holding their hands firmly enough? Were they not close enough? Eren trying to remember what he'd felt when he'd been knelt forward, chained; that glimmering white light surrounding them.

His gaze flickers over to the luminescent stones Armin has lined up on the desk, to better help see with the lamps that'd been lit hours ago throughout the library.

An echo.

A pulse.

A flicker of recognition.

A spark that thrums through the cold musty air in the long unoccupied library, a recognisable heat that sets them on edge. Familiar on the battleground, but not here. Eren holds onto that feeling, that memory, suddenly knowing but not knowing how or why he knows. What they must do if they want this memory to be revived.

Mikasa's sharp intake of breath, missed as Historia exclaims shortly. Startled as Eren has drawn closer to her, lowering his brow to hers. Touching it to hers. His eyes gently closing shut. Their noses near touching, their lips just the same. There's a crack in the wood of the banister up the stairs that Mikasa has latched onto in an attempt of self control. As Historia stares at Eren, that sweat at her brow, sliding down her face as Eren tells her softly, gently.

"We have to do it like this."

Certain.

As he had been when he'd once explained, in order to transform into a titan he need not a knife to cut his hand, or a needle to prick his finger, he need only his teeth. He just had to bite hard.

Because he knew.

From who did he know this?

While her gaze remains open, Historia sees.

She is there.

She can feel it, the wind rising over the fields. Brushing gently across her face, briefly flowing through her hair. As she sits on big sis's lap, tucked warmly in her arms. They sit against the fence, hidden by the tall stalks of the wheat behind them. The sky blue and the sun bright despite the chillier season. She's not cold though, because big sis is here. Historia turns to look up at Frieda's face.

Frieda is sleeping, despite that the book she'd been reading to Historia is still open. Always relying on big sis to pick the story, Historia remembers she'd been curious. Like she had been about what was over the fence. She'd noticed, there'd been a tale her sister always avoided reading. She must not like it...

(That story, why is it the one she seeks?)

Maybe it had to do with the fence, or so Historia had thought at the time. Because once. When Frieda had made the mistake of telling her to look and choose what story she'd like to read next- when Historia had asked big sis to read it, Frieda had had a similar reaction as she had when Historia had tried to climb over the fence. Frieda had gone mad for a long moment, inconsolable and unreachable, then calming down as she'd forgotten what had caused her to react as such. Depressed and unhearing but for a couple minutes before she'd sealed away Historia's memory and left. Historia had never asked her to read that story again, the memory sealed tight but the feeling throbbing. And Frieda had never allowed her to flip through the book on her own ever again.

With that in mind... Historia remembers, this time. On this day that her sister had uncommonly fallen asleep.

As Frieda slept, she'd decided, the memory vaguely then tangibly resurfacing, she'd take the risk of getting caught... even if it wasn't what a good girl like the one in the story Frieda liked to read most often would do. Historia had been curious about this story because the picture had reminded her of that story of that good and kind girl. She wanted to know why, if this girl was the same, offering an apple just as well to a monster they know not the name of. Why was she different? Was she bad? Was that why big sis didn't want her to read this story? Was the girl who went over the fence so different from the girl who didn't? Historia had carefully taken the book up onto her lap, and turning the pages as quietly as she could she'd turned to the story she wishes to know once more.

Clear as the day, she can read it, on the worn old pages, the faded ink turning bold beneath her curious gaze-

She hears it from a distance, seeing what she can see, Eren says-

Reading the title.

"The Tale of The Foolish King and the Ever More Foolish Goddess."

Everyone listens in as Historia reads the prelude beneath it.

"Why it is forbidden for a god to love a human being."

Armin sorts about the papers, finding a small unused journal. Its leather cover as red as the skin of apples. The journal is much like the sort they all carried as soldiers. Either as a daily log or a diary that may become a memoir if it's not eaten with them. Armin sets to writing in the journal he's found, what they say. 

Historia swallows, then takes a breath. Closing her eyes as Eren has. She continues, and begins to read the story to them-

\--

There once lived a foolish King.

The King was loved by all his people. He was a kind King who could want for nothing. Blessed by the Goddesses, every desire of those of his line was fulfilled, and every ambition of his house realised since the promise had been made during his ancestors' time.

But despite that, the King was not happy.

Despite that he lived in peace and held the hearts of all.

He was not content with merely having the hearts of his subjects, he also wanted the heart of the Goddess who served him.

So one day he asked the Goddess that she give her heart to him.

The Goddess Maria told him thus, that she had not a heart to give to him, for it was true.

What heart she had had she had already given to him long ago, to the First King, in the time of his ancestors. She had not another heart to give.

Full of anger, believing the Goddess to be deceiving him, the King cast the Goddess out from his castle. Ordering her, his only friend, to go find him a heart worthy of a goddess, so she may give it to him. Until she found such a heart, she could not return home.

The Goddess, ever more foolish, hurt and full of pride- set out to find such a heart.

She searched in the busy and refined city surrounded by thick forests full of honey. She searched across the humble towns guarded by the thorn sharp vines of roses red, red, red. She searched over the vast fields where crops once thrived in abundance during a different age.

She walked and she walked and she walked until she could walk no more.

While the Goddess could not die, it did not mean she did not experience hunger or exhaustion.

Having traveled for so so so long, the Goddess Maria grew weary.

She became lonely and homesick.

She began to regret making that promise.

When the Goddess Maria could bear her weariness no longer she laid against the bark of a dead apple tree.

There were many of these trees, endless in the orchards of these desolate lands.

There she waited and waited and waited, futilely hoping the King had sent his knights after her, to bring her home.

With that hope, she waited and waited and waited some more.

But not a soul gave her a glance in this place of withered grey fields. 

And no knight came for her.

These lands she had traveled to, may stretch wide and vast, but they were the poorest in the Kingdom.

Unable to grow crops from the bad weather, the people weak from famine and stricken from pestilence, there was no heart to be found here.

Beneath the fruitless branches, the Goddess Maria learnt despair. That she had come to the ends of the earth and still could not find a heart to give to her King. Resigning to her failure, she was ready to yield to the eternal sleep few could wake her from.

The Goddess Maria closed her eyes.

But before she could be enshrouded by rock and light, she could not help but say, voice frail and small-

"Save me." 

It was then someone heard her.

Saw her.

A child before her. And a child before man.

"Eat this," the child said, her hair as golden as the wheat that'd once grown in these fields, "For you must be hungry... and it is as red as your beautiful hair."

The child held out to the Goddess Maria-

An apple.

The goddess accepted it ravenously.

It was red and sweet, crisp and juicy. 

It delighted her taste buds, appeased her appetite, and warded off the loneliness inside her by filling her up.

What could make her feel such happiness? Such contentment? Such warmth?

It could be nothing other... than that which she had been so tirelessly looking for.

A heart worthy of a Goddess.

The Goddess Maria mistook the apple to be the girl's heart.

Since apples grew nowhere else but here, and sparingly. The Goddess Maria had not eaten one once, having never left the castle.

Even though she had mistaken an apple for a heart.

The Goddess worried not that she had been looking for such a heart to give her King so she may return home.

Coveting the girl's heart.

The Goddess Maria, so taken by the sweetness of the apple, the kindness of the young girl, fell in love with her.

Wanting to repay her, the Goddess Maria accepted not only the girl's heart but also her hand.

Holding her hand, the young girl guided the Goddess Maria to her home.

She was without family for they had all died from famine and disease. These endless fields her ancestors had once cultivated, could grow nothing without the care of more hands, the diligence of their time, and the mercy of the gods.

She has been alone a long time the girl tells her.

All that she had been able to manage to grow on her own was a small apple tree.

The Goddess Maria thought and thought and thought.

She wanted to repay the girl, with as much as she thought was due, and so Maria decides what she'll do.

The Goddess Maria grants the girl her inherited knowledge of plants and farming, so she may better use what her kin had been learning.

With this knowledge the girl sets out to build the tools she would need, to ready the soil she'll plant the seeds in.

Lacking strength to plow the fields and cover every acre on her own.

The Goddess Maria lends her strength, so the crops may be planted and tended to.

The girl works along beside her, trying her best.

To praise her efforts.

The Goddess Maria bestows upon the girl divine luck, giving her the blessing that the weather will be perfect, that neither man nor animal will ruin or pillage her crops, allowing them to grow healthily and in abundance.

With the Goddess Maria's favour, the girl is able to grow many crops.

Rice and wheat, vegetable and fruit.

Seeing her success, other villagers ask her the method of it.

The girl shares with them her knowledge. Like her they make the tools they need. And with more people they add their strength to hers. Helping with her crops as she helped with theirs. With her knowledge and the strength of gathered hands, all the Goddess need give any longer is her blessing.

With storms nor vermin ravaging their crops, food is to be had heartily.

With more food the villagers grow stronger and are able to work.

They make more, better tools.

And thus grow more, and better crops.

What food they do not eat they sell for money, to buy medicine to heal any sick that remain.

When they no longer need to buy medicine, for there are no more sick, they are able to invest their money. Repairing their homes. Expanding their knowledge. Making their own inventions. Merchants, scholars, and lords from faraway lands pay them visit. Bettering their quality of life with each passing year, the villagers rejoice.

They praise the girl a genius, for without her the crops could not be planted.

They call the girl a saint, for without her the sick would have never been cured

They jest the girl a goddess, for without her they would have all died.

She is their savior. Their beacon of hope. The light.

She is all that and more to the Goddess Maria.

Unseen by the villagers, the Goddess Maria is happy that the girl is revered in her stead.

For it had been the girl's will that she help the villagers, and not the Goddess Maria's, who had only wanted to help the girl.

The Goddess Maria is happy.

With her powers, like how the King had been given peace and fortune, so has the girl also been given such.

Maria spends her days peacefully with the girl. Bettering their home, tending to the garden, cooking delicious meals together. Maria tells the girl stories of her days before, and the days of those before her; while the girl tells her stories of her fellow villagers, her days with them.

They eat together, sleep together, live together.

And the Goddess Maria with her time ever eternal had not been able to bear to consider the thought, the inevitable.

That one day these days will end.

As years past, the girl was a young girl no longer but a young woman.

Men from the village, both akin to her in age or akin to her in wealth seek her hand. Knowing how kind she is.

Merchants from far, seeking profit to be made, present her with many a shiny jeweled ring. Understanding how smart she is.

Many lords from across the sea, offer to take her away and make her a lady. Seeing how beautiful she is.

The Goddess Maria, knows, understands and sees all of that of the young woman. And more.

For she holds her heart.

There is no one else on this earth who loves the young woman as much as the Goddess Maria does.

Even though that may be so, the Goddess Maria despairs. Full of fear that the day they must part will be sooner than she'd barely spared thought. Full of loathing that any human would try to steal the young woman away from her. Full of apprehension that the young woman will leave of her own free will to begin a different life. The Goddess Maria raises her voice to pierce the heavens, beseeching her sisters for a miracle.

"O haughty sister of mine," The Goddess Sina replies, "Why do you cry so?"

Through her tears the Goddess Maria tells her eldest sister, who is wiser than she.

"I wish to make a human being a god. She is worthy of being a goddess, possessing all the qualities of one. "

The Goddess Sina, whose wisdom has no bounds, says "A liar's tongue licks only of poison. You cannot deceive me. You have given her all these qualities she possesses."

Maria begs for forgiveness, for this be truth.

"O vain sister of mine," The Goddess Rose replies, "Why do you scream so?"

Through her sobs the Goddess Maria tells her older sister, who is stronger than she.

"If I make this human a goddess, she will never be able to leave my side. I want to be with her for the rest of time."

The Goddess Maria thus asks, for that which must not be asked, for it must not be done.

"O beloved sisters of mine! I beg of you! Lend me your power to obtain this miracle!"

The Goddess Sina and the Goddess Rose do not speak, distraught that their little sister however foolish is in such agony.

Unable to keep their silence the harder Maria weeps.

The Goddess Sina, with all her wisdom tells Maria- "O gentle sister, I shall lend you my power. The means to bring about this miracle already resides within you. That heart that you were given has become your own. Should you offer up your heart to this human woman and she eats it just as you had hers. She will become a goddess."

The Goddess Rose, with all her strength tells Maria- "O sweet sister, I shall lend you my power. While this human woman will become a goddess she will not be a goddess akin to us unless this condition is met. In order for her to become a True Goddess, all within her homeland must recognise her as inhuman. If a single person sees her as human, the miracle will not be truth."

The Goddess Maria reaches inside her breast, and from it rips out her beating heart.

It is not red or sweet like the heart she had been gifted.

Instead, manifesting from her desires, it is putrid and black, but her heart nonetheless.

The Goddess Maria thanks her sisters, overjoyed that she will not need to part with the young woman. She hurries to return to the young woman's side, unhearing of the warning Sina and Rose call out to her. That should Maria fail, she will not be able to return to them in the heavens.

Back at home, the young woman still at the market. The Goddess Maria thinks about how she accepted the young woman's heart. It must be eaten in the same manner. Sina had told her and so Maria seeks it to be so.

Maria had been saved from the brink of despair.

If the young woman must be hungry to eat her heart then it shall be as such.

The Goddess Maria curses the crops. 

What the bugs and mice do not consume, the rain and winds drown and destroys. With little food, the villagers panic and eat up all their winter stores before winter. Worried that they will starve like before, having gotten used to their full bellies, they turn to the young woman for counsel. She assures them they will be able to grow more food and in the meanwhile they can use their money to buy seed and grain to plant, as well as purchase what food they need right now from the traveling merchants they often do business with.

The villagers do as such, trusting in her.

But the merchants are looking to make a profit, and it's not long when there's not much food again.

Having to wait on crops yet grown, the villagers resent the young woman whose ideas they relied on. They accuse her of scheming with the merchants to take all their money. They storm through her house, looking for the money they thought she got from the merchants. When they find none they take what valuables they do find. Cursing her the entire while, calling her "thief" and "swindler".

Much of her furniture, jewelry, and clothes they take.

Hurt by the villagers' hateful words and accusations, the young woman cries silently.

It is then the Goddess Maria appears before her, to offer her her heart.

"Eat this," Maria tells her, "Humans are selfish and refuse to accept reason. If you eat this you will no longer be human. You will become a goddess! A being smarter than all the people in this village, wiser than anyone on this earth!"

But the young woman shakes her head.

"Why?" Maria asks, not understanding, "They took all of your wonderful possessions."

The young woman replies, her tears halted, "I forgive them. For I know what it is like to be hungry."

Full of sadness that hunger will not be enough for the young woman to accept her heart, the Goddess Maria curses the land.

Unable to grow food and out of money to buy more, the villagers start to starve. 

Many grow weak and sick. Having spent all their money they cannot afford medicine to cure their ailments. The villagers demand that the young woman do something about the crops that aren't growing. They accuse her of their every illness as she remains in good health. When she cannot heal them though they believed in her, they call her "witch" and "whore". Men that had once asked for her hand force their way into her bed.

Shamed, the young woman weeps quietly.

It is once all the men have left that the Goddess Maria approaches her, holding out her heart.

"Eat this," Maria says, her heart pained but confidence driving her, "Men are greedy and violent. If you eat this you will no longer be human. You will become a goddess! You will have the strength to crush any enemy! No man can ever shame you as they have!"

But the young woman shakes her head.

"Why?" Maria asks, growing angry, "They did all those horrible things to you... so why?!"

The young woman replies, her tears stopped, "I forgive them. For I know what it is to be afraid."

Full of self loathing that even though she has hurt the young woman so, the young woman blames no one.

The Goddess Maria sends a plague.

The illness kills the weak, the elderly, the children. It leaves behind only those strong enough to have once plowed the fields. The disease infects them all but the young woman. Unmarked and untouched by it. In their anguish, their fury, the villagers blame her. Screaming at her, spitting on her. They tear down her house and drag her out from the rubble. Beating her and kicking her. They tear off her clothes. Calling her "the devil", "a monster". She has brought ruin upon them after showing them paradise, because she is cruel by nature. She is evil. Inhuman.

Knowing no other way to stop their suffering other than this, the villagers decide.

If she dies, then they'll all be saved won't they?

They just have to sacrifice her and then the rest of them will be able to live in peace won't they?

They will burn her alive.

They tie her up to a post, upon a mound of all the wood they can muster. 

Kneeled upon the kindling, her hands and feet bound behind the post, the young woman does not see the Goddess Maria just as the whole crowd has not seen her this entire time. 

Until the Goddess speaks.

The crowd still cannot see her, because her voice does not reach them.

But as it always has, it reaches the young woman.

"Eat this," Maria says, certain that hope has carried her to this promised day, "If you eat this you will no longer be human! You will be a goddess! You will never have to feel this sort of pain or fear ever again! You will live forever! _You will be saved!_ "

The Goddess Maria smiles. 

The crowd around her yelling, hollering, foul and violent. Wanting all their curses to be heard before they light the fire. But they cannot be heard, not above what Maria has said.

She holds out her heart to the young woman.

The young woman raises her head to look at it.

An apple in her eyes, just as red and surely just as sweet as the one she'd given so many years ago to Maria upon their meeting.

The foolish goddess then thinks to herself.

She has done it hasn't she?

Surely, the despair the young woman feels is the same to what Maria had felt before their first meeting.

This is the only way.

About to be killed. Hated and defiled. A monster, the devil, inhuman. The young woman was no longer seen as human by anyone in this village, her homeland, her birth place. All she need do to save herself is eat this apple.

But the young woman shakes her head.

The Goddess Maria, happy only moments before that her miracle would be obtained, sees her dream crumble.

"Why?" Maria asks, unbelieving, "Why won't you become a goddess?!"

The young woman replies, not a tear on her face.

"O my dear friend, isn't it obvious?"

As the villagers light the fire, the flames red like her hair, the Goddess Maria is the only one the young woman's radiant smile is for.

"Because I'm human!"

As the young woman burns away, the ashes flickering like the light up into the night sky. Near the heat of the flames, the Goddess Maria cries. Tears streaming down her face as she curses and laments herself. 

Screaming.

She had achieved in making every villager see the young woman as not human, but she could not make the young woman view herself as anything other than human.

Because of that, because of the Goddess Maria's selfishness, because of her foolishness!

The light she had so loved.

That had warmed her and saved her- is no more.

The Goddess Maria howls in anguish, damning herself. She bites into her heart, pitch and black, sour and torrid. The Goddess Maria consumes a hopeless miracle. By only the light of the fire, she transforms through smoke and steam. The Goddess Maria... the monster, the devil the villagers so feared and hated. Crush them underfoot. She grabs them in her hands and tears them apart. She snaps them up into her mouth, chewing them _crunch crunch, smack smack, gulp_ \- she eats their hearts but spits out their bones. Who she does not gobble up or smash, perish in the fire as she sets their homes and fields ablaze from knocking over the pillar. Letting the fire wash over them so they'll never feel the endless rain as it falls.

The fire extinguished beneath the rainfall.

The monster walks amongst the wreckage.

Wondering where her lover has gone, she searches for her heart.

\--

Mikasa had gone after Eren as he'd let without a word. 

She returns to the library to flatly inform the rest of them that he is fine and 'must hurry to check on Captain Levi'. Judging from her sour expression Eren really is fine. His silent and abrupt departure had worried most of them, given the tale told. Armin finishes writing, less frantic since Mikasa came back to tell them Eren is alright. He'd been trying to hurry finishing writing to chase after him himself. But if he wasn't in tears, like Sasha and Connie who are clinging to one another, blubbering above... for different reasons than Jean who is rubbing his eyes, then he really is fine. Sasha who'd eaten most of the apples was stricken, asking Connie if she was going to turn into a titan. Connie is shaking his head and trying to reassure her fairytales are just fairytales. Armin thinks on that, was this just a fairytale? The book was no doubt forbidden for its content to just be cautionary, and since their world was full of caution, what was dangerous about it? The King who was kind and loved by the people but seen as foolish? The Goddess who should have been all powerful and all knowing who was ever more foolish? As Armin thinks it over he can't help but feel-

"Historia," Armin says. Historia turns to him. A pensive expression about her features since the concern that'd been upon them had been eased by Mikasa.

"The story..." Armin asks, "that wasn't the ending was it?"

Historia's eyes widen in surprise before she replies, "...yes... while I do not remember how the rest of the story goes or what the ending is, I do remember that there is more of it."

Both lost in thought.

Armin flips through what he's written, Historia rounding to stand beside him to read it over as they wonder how this story will end and if its ending will have any relation to the story they're living.

\--

Captain Levi had hurriedly shut his book when Eren rushed in unannounced. Levi not used to Eren not knocking and excusing himself, the Captain looks with some interest.

"Oh, you've finally returned Eren."

Eren is short of breath, his hair a little tussled from his haste.

"Yes sir! Excuse me for not knocking. I figured you to be asleep. I did not want to wake you."

Partially a lie, from the dark pink of Eren's ears, but Levi let's it slide. Not taking back up his book. He'd tried to hide it since if Erwin or Hanji saw him reading (for pleasure) they'd figure he was well enough to read other things right? Like those mountains of paperwork they'd been telling him about that was waiting for him from his extended time away? Complete bullshit, it wasn't like he chose to be sick. But the work must be done regardless. He'd just rather not do it while he was still... recuperating. 

Levi can tell though, that Erwin most certainly knew and Hanji was on to him. While Eren with all his diligent care was the reason he was nowhere near death's door any longer, Eren was also the reason his efficient recovery was perhaps not so efficient.

Levi was quite content to fake a few coughs, or take a couple of naps if it meant Eren leaning over him to fluff his pillows or tuck him in, feel his temperature with his brow and still finding it too hot would make him a cool compress. Some soothing tea, a nutritious and heartfelt meal. All the while frowning worriedly.

With Eren's face close to his and him being with him this whole while, Levi did worry even in his delirium if Eren would catch his illness. Levi had tried to convince Eren to stay away lest he become sick as well. But Eren had assured him, that along with being quite healthy having been raised by a doctor and a doting mother, ever since he'd obtained his titan shifting abilities he hadn't caught even a small cold not once all these years! Levi had been unbelieving, but he had to admit he'd never seen Eren sick. Only tired, exhausted, and it was all from him shifting into a titan. But outside that...

Levi had sighed and told him if he was going to do whatever the hell he wants, then fine, he could just do it.

After much medicine Levi didn't care for, an amount of blankets that are needed for sweating out a fever but Eren's usual, Eren tirelessly changing his compress, cooking for him, helping him bathe, staying with him throughout the night to monitor any slight change in condition, along with numerous other tasks- Levi had gotten much better. But not enough to leave bed yet... oh no. Everyone else who knew how often he typically stayed sick knew it was never for long, and while this was a worse case than they'd been expecting this occasion... Eren didn't know that. 

While Eren knew he was better, since he didn't feel so- with the Captain's goading. Then it was not so. Eren's complete trust in him and his word. That if the Captain said he wasn't feeling well, then he wasn't. So he'll just have to try harder for the Captain. Eren wants to do all that he can for Captain Levi.

Captain Levi would feel bad about lying if it didn't make him feel so good to see Eren sit beside his bedside, Eren's full attention for him even as he peels at an apple he's cut up.

"Captain, did you take your medicine while I was away?"

Levi had honestly forgot between fending off Erwin and Hanji's "concern" during their visit.

"I didn't."

Eren pours him a glass of water, before handing him the medicine amount he needs to take.

Levi would probably be fine without the medicine, but if he wanted to have more of Eren's kindness all to himself then- Levi takes the medicine. To keep the facade. Eren takes the glass from him when he's done and passes him the plate of cut and semi peeled apples. Levi blinks at it quizzically.

"If you didn't want to take your medicine I would have had to hide it in a rabbit."

Eren says almost teasingly but when Levi looks over to him, expression flat and unchanged, Eren continues.

"Ah... you don't know sir?"

Levi picks up a slice of the apple, looking it over on how it could be a rabbit.

Eren explains, "Mikasa was the one who taught us how to cut the apples into rabbits. The first time she caught a cold at our place, she kept asking mom if she could eat 'apple rabbits' so my mom figured she'd make her something hot to eat. She cooked her up this stew with rabbit and apple in it... Mikasa ate it but she still asked for the apple rabbits after. We didn't know what it was until she cut some for me after I caught her cold."

A story from his childhood.

Levi glances over to Eren. While Eren was not that child any more, that did not mean he wasn't still a kid. Levi slowly turns his gaze away. Knowing he'd been looking more and where he shouldn't, especially with Eren's every focus upon him.

Since Levi is still not eating, Eren fidgets. While he did wash the apple thoroughly before cutting it, it may be that the Captain was still concerned about germs.

"Do you not like the skin? Shall I peel it off sir?" 

"It's fine, Eren," Levi replies, pressing a rabbit apple slice to Eren's mouth. Eren has fed him so many times this week, it was satisfying to have Eren eat something from his hand. 

Levi watching as Eren finishes eating, unable to restrain himself adds- "Cute."

Levi picks up the small fork on the edge of the plate and eats the rest of the rabbit apples. Eren happily takes the fork and the empty plate when Levi is finished. Levi looking Eren up and down as Eren turns away to set them aside.

"Eren."

"Yes? What is it, Captain Levi?" Eren answers, somewhat chipper.

"I'm... still hungry."

Eren is attentive.

"What do you want to eat?"

Levi doesn't say anything else for a couple seconds. Deciding.

"Could I ask for what Mikasa was not asking for?"

It takes Eren a moment, "Ah! You want to eat... stew sir?"

"Can you make it?" Levi asks, knowing full well Eren can from all that he's eaten by him already.

Eren is hesitant, since Levi had already eaten an apple, an apple a day "Of course sir, but this stew... it's sweet."

Levi looks from Eren's concerned eyes to his mouth, parted in mild disbelief. Looking back up to his eyes.

Levi replies.

"That's fine too Eren."

\--

Mikasa at first had tried to prevent Eren from going out so late at night, but once Eren told her he wanted to go catch some rabbits so he could cook the apple rabbit stew, she'd been quite enthused to invite herself in going hunting with him. Even helping him skin and clean the rabbits, especially since she'd been the one to catch the bigger ones. Cutting up the meat for the stew, Eren cuts the apples and the vegetables, fetching the cream and what else will be cooked in the stew. Cooking into the night, Mikasa is telling Eren she'll treat the pelts if Eren will sew with her mittens and scarves from them. Eren agreeing as he sets down a hearty bowl of piping hot stew for her. Mikasa inhales the smell joyously. Mikasa's joy plummeting, as Eren does not set his bowl next to hers... but on a tray... and tells her-

"Try not to eat all that's left in the pot Mikasa. I'll be back to eat after I go see Captain Levi."

Mikasa ends up sleeping at the table, Armin rousing her awake with bowls of stew reheated, one for her and one for him. Armin apologising, Eren told him it was alright if he ate his share since he'd be busy...

\--

In the early morning, Eren packs his bag. Told to by Captain Levi since the Captain had received orders from Commander Erwin about a small mission. Eren had been worried if it was too soon since Captain Levi had just recovered... but Levi had told him he could handle it. And once Eren had helped him arrange some things, he'd sent Eren off to do likewise for himself as Levi got dressed before reporting to the Commander. To get more details about this mission they'd be going on. Eren had been surprised to be included, but had nodded obediently before returning to his quarters. The door slightly ajar from him rushing. Armin who'd been reading all through the night, was up for a snack (well, breakfast now) when he saw the most unlikely light from the cracked door of Eren's room.

A few taps on the door, pushing it open further.

Eren turns sharply, frantic demeanor lessening on seeing who it is.

"Going somewhere?" Armin asks, entering the room. 

Eren explains what's going on, Armin nodding.

"It's good I caught you before you left then."

He pulls from his satchel of books he's currently reading, the small red journal he'd written in the night before. He holds it out to Eren.

"Take this. It's the story you helped Historia remember. After you left, we both agreed that there's still more of the story than what we heard. So, since the memory is fresh with you... even if it's not yours. I just thought maybe... you'll remember something else? And if you do you can write it down with the rest of the story."

Eren is quiet, frowning. Already worried he won't remember anything more and that's the problem. That night, he knew there was more of the story but he couldn't go on. He couldn't finish it, suddenly, dreadfully anxious. He couldn't hold himself back for the rest as he only wanted to go see Captain Levi badly.

Eren figured because in the story... the Goddess had turned into a monster... a titan. He'd been concerned he may accidentally transform... and if he did that then, there was only one person who could stop him right?

Eren isn't sure he wants to remember the rest, but he packs the journal away nonetheless. Thinking of Historia, whose only hope of remembering all of the story is up to him. Least so long as her big sister's story book remains missing.

Eren thanks Armin... then with some alarm remembers the stew and Mikasa.

\--

Eren sleeps near the entire journey.

It was a foul move Erwin had played to get Levi to return. Erwin had assured Levi he would take care of all the paperwork that'd accumulated when he'd been sick and then some, if only Levi would do him the favour of following up with matters related to the underground. 

They'd been having some of the Garrison do this in various districts in Wall Rose and Wall Sina. Their task, is to offer the glowing stones to residents of the underground in exchange for their lamps. The lamps made of metal or glass would be melted down for other purposes. The lamps which needed fuel or candle would be replaced by the stones which had brighter, better, and never extinguishing light. All you had to do to "turn off" the light was cover it with something dark , like a black cloth. The stones are an immense resource, especially to such impoverished people who mostly lived in the dark. They would have people sign (and if they couldn't sign for lack of literacy, they could just tell their name and it'd be written down for them... real or not) to qualify for the exchange. It was even allowed in certain cases to give the stones for nothing in return since there was a vast amount of them. This would be done to help the community. But it was also a cover for what else Erwin wanted done. By the request of the Queen. He wanted to make sure that there weren't any more orphans who'd been overlooked or hidden in the darkest places of the underground; that Erwin is sure Levi remembers. There are places in the underground where only those from the underground can go.

Levi knows Erwin is being nitpicky since he's always been thorough, and while Levi doesn't disagree with what's to be done it's just annoying he's the only one who can do it. But he has always been one for doing what must be done... in such circumstances. Historia really was getting back at him intentional or not, even if she had made up her mind to accept that crown on her head. 

He'd preferred to have never come back to this filthy hellhole for the rest of his years, however numbered they be if they take back not only Wall Maria but outside it.

He'd considered not bringing Eren. His skin already crawling at the idea. Eren who looked best beneath the bright light of the sun, the endless blue sky. But temptation got the best of him, it wasn't unappealing either, getting to travel just the two of them. Levi is aware allowing Eren to go with him was also part of Erwin's plan to get him to do this.

As they'd left Hanji had cried bitter, jealous tears that her favourite test subject would be leaving for a week or two. Even though it made sense if such test subject's safety control wasn't around.

They're accompanied by some fellow soldiers until the shipment of light stones are unloaded at the warehouse they're using. Ordered to be discreet, none of them are in uniform. When that is done, needed elsewhere, the soldiers leave them for other duties. The schedule of the lift not as impossible as it used to be with the aristocracy no longer here to hold them down, it running weekly and not monthly or at the will of the rich. But that didn't mean the commonfolk on the surface would be welcoming of the people of the underground; often criminals, undesirables and their descendants. If the underground was ever to be no more for good they'd have to take back Wall Maria and gain more of the public's support.

They settle in at one of the few inns by the warehouses. Eren still half asleep as he helps Levi clean the room to better standards. After they unpack the minor necessities they'd brought, they eat a meal they'd packed (stew leftovers). Levi checking the time before they head to the warehouse to put up the signs that this was the place the fliers and vocal announcements that'd been made previously had been speaking of.

As they walk to the warehouse, each time Levi turns to look at Eren, Eren's neck is craned as he peers up. A frown on his face at the ceiling. Eren is from Wall Maria, the wall with the most land and he still despised the walls. Seeing the underground, in its cramped damp space, within... beneath Wall Sina- Levi knows had Eren been from here just as he, a different monster he would be. While Eren was at times merciless, to say he knew no mercy was wrong. The darkness of the underground, Levi dwells upon it for too long, after abhorring the idea of it touching Eren, he's not a right to consider the appeals of otherwise.

Levi has Eren hand out the stones as he unloads them and packs away the lamps they do have turned in to them. An assortment of people show up for the trade; but none come across as familiar to Levi. None are from that part of the underground. He's not met any faces that seem familiar or find his familiar... if they do they bother to give no indication of it. A smart, safe decision. As the stream of first comers dies down with "night" approaching, Levi is sorting through the last batch of lamps and lanterns at the back of the small warehouse. Eren sitting at the desk, gathering up the papers when a few more people come in. A group with only a couple lamps for so many. Levi had heard their footsteps, the weight behind them carried with a certain slyness. Levi makes his way to the front.

He'd been watching people from certain angles, through the cracks and gaps of the crates. Occasionally seen when he went to help Eren with something. But he doesn't bother with this method for this lot. He doesn't know any of them, but he knows where they're from. A glare in place as he crosses his arms and watches all of them roam and pace before the desk, looking at the crates and then the different tones and shapes of the stones they have out as samples. Eren has packed most of the stones away already on preparing to leave but he is bringing the stones out again, so they may see all of them.

But it does not seem they are as interested in the stones as they are Eren. Levi watching closely, two of them scrutinizing Eren's face (do they know him?), his body- they both jolt as they feel Levi's glare on them. Unrelenting as he moves to silently stand behind Eren. Even as they make a hurried trade.

Eren recognises one of them in the group- "You were here a couple of hours ago weren't you? Did you tell your friends about the trade?"

Levi is grinding his teeth, so one of them had been here before gawking at Eren and had brought his scum company to have a look too? The group leaves, all clamoring to hurry out the door first, some glancing back at Levi, apprehensive. Whispering to themselves then voices raised as soon as they're far down the street.

Eren turns to Levi, jumping at how scary the Captain's face has become... least, more so than usual.

"What happened sir?"

As Eren rises, Levi draws close to him, an arm over his shoulders, his hand holding one tightly even as Eren locks the place up and they leave to return to the inn. Levi explaining that should that group come again, or try to talk to him elsewhere, that Eren come to him right away.

\--

A few days past, just as that.

When Eren is safe at the inn, Levi investigates that what else Erwin wants to know about. Returning before Eren wakes. Sometimes sleeping in the backroom to make up for what sleep he couldn't get, Eren scolding him numerously since it's better to sleep in a bed. Not a chair! Levi catches Eren almost sleeping at the desk when it seems most of the people who will come for the trade have. They've actually exchanged a lot of stones. He would have scolded Eren too, to tease him, but Eren had looked really tired. 

The next days after, Eren does fall asleep on the job, harder to wake in the morning than before. His face flushed and hot, his voice weak and his movements taxed. With growing horror Levi realises that Eren did catch his illness. It just took a long while to effect him. Why? Was it here? The stale air, the lack of light, the damp and cold. How dirty everything is. Inescapable. Caging. As Levi quells his panic, a memory from his youth resurfacing, his mother's lifeless form, suppressed- for this is the merciless underground. Levi thinks about what options remain. The lift they just missed will not be back for another week.

Levi orders Eren to stay in bed. Eren futilely trying to get up, because they haven't completed the mission have they? Levi pushes him back down, covering him with as many blankets he can find. Levi makes a cold compress for Eren. Wondering if the many times he had to wring it out and wet it again, was as many times as Eren had for him.

When Eren seems as comfortable as he could make him Levi rushes out to find medicine. Willing to pay any price or push anyone's head under water if they don't give some to him. Levi curses himself for not only causing Eren to get sick, but for also foolishly losing his cool. The dark of the underground is familiar, like his temper from days past, bursting at the seams. Eren did not need him to be the brat he'd been in his youth, he needed his level headed Captain to do what needs to be done.

Levi returns to the inn, unable to get medicine because most apothecary's were closed at this hour and also because he wasn't sure what medicine would be best. He didn't want to give Eren something questionable. This was the underground, luck was your only friend and your only enemy. As Levi tried to remember what medicine it was Eren gave him, an idea that would have come sooner had he not rushed out arrives. Most likely because he had just recovered, Eren had brought his medicine.

Levi rummages about the items Eren has unpacked, then his bag. Finding the medicine. Eren's breathing harsh in his fevered sleep and harsher as Levi wakes him, an apology at his lips that typically Eren would have been flustered at. Excusing him. Always ready to forgive him, but Eren is too sick to register it. Only that he is awake and it hurts. Levi can't help but think, intuition hounding his notions, because Eren had gotten sick here of all places, it really was the underground that was making the fever worse than it'd been for Levi.

Levi holds Eren up, then to him so he won't fall back down onto the bed. Too weak to hold himself up. Every inch of him is burning up. Levi has to push his thumb between Eren's mouth to keep it open for the pill. Coaxing him to drink. Some of the water gets onto his shirt but Eren drinks. He drinks all the water in the glass to Levi's relief. Levi lowers Eren back against the pillows, covering him. Replacing that compress. Eren seems to sleep easier with the medicine. Levi sleeps sitting on the floor, at the side of the bed. Restless at every motion and sound Eren makes.

The medicine doesn't last, and it hadn't been as effective as he'd hoped. Levi is holding out for the lift at the end of the week, but it doesn't come. Some disturbance on the surface has delayed it another week. At his wit's end, Levi visits the apothecary but the medicine they sell to him while not making the fever worse, does little to abate it.

Eren had not brought his gear, but Levi had brought his. Levi considers if he'll be able to carry Eren with Eren in his condition, out of the underground if need be but knows it's not likely. Even if he went into the caverns, where water dripped, and the ceiling was cracked with enough spaces to see patches of the sky. Even with the space large enough to pass through. It was still too high up and dangerous. Plus he'd heard there was only the wilderness in that area. Even if you did manage to escape through there, just because you survived the underground did not mean you would survive the surface. If Eren had been in good health, if he could transform it may have been manageable. But like this-

Levi had tried to make the porridge sweet, able to find one apple that wasn't as bad as all the others. All the other food they have remaining are rations. And while he isn't the best cook, Levi figures a cooked meal is better than the dry rations.

Eren is awake. Managing to keep sitting up with Levi's arm around him, as Levi feeds him. Sometimes unable to swallow the bite all at once, it dribbles across his chin, onto his shirt. Levi cleans it up with a cloth, loathing himself when Eren does manage to say something it's an apology. Levi disgusted with himself when Eren manages some strength, his hand at his chest gripping, tugging at his shirt so Eren can draw closer to him. His gaze often downcast and unfocused. His whole face flushed, his body hot- it's because of the fever that he's like this. But sometimes when Eren is this close to him, relying on him, dependent on him, needing to be held by him Levi starts to grow hard. Eren's burning skin beneath his fingers, his little pants and sighs. Pained or content depending on how or where Levi moves him, positions the blankets, how cold his compress is, how rough or gentle Levi's grip is. Levi knows he is the worst. And Eren need not ever forgive him. For anything.

Sometimes after he's tucked Eren in and Eren has managed to fall asleep in his delirium, Levi will leave the room should it be night. To some back alley unoccupied where he hopes no one will venture, so he can jack off. A fist to the brick of the wall as he grunts and pants as he thinks about Eren. Remembering how Eren had looked when he'd helped Eren change his clothes. How Eren had moved his body to try to help him in taking them off. How cute he'd been. How pretty his eyes, clouded and unfocused until they met his. He'd been able to control himself on the surface. Eren is much younger than him. His subordinate. But here in the underground, with all its familiar vices and ambiguity. Levi doesn't know why any of that matters. Why can't he keep Eren? Why can't he have Eren? He cums as he thinks what it'd be like to have Eren all to himself, in that room of theirs, that small bed. Levi is gritting his teeth, revolted by his own thoughts, Eren is sick because of him and needs him to help him like he had helped him. He didn't need this twisted fascination, this aching longing, this subdued attraction. Levi has already taken advantage of Eren's kindness. He shouldn't take advantage of the fact that presently, Eren needs him more than ever. More than anyone.

Levi takes time in cleaning himself up before returning to the inn.

\--

Levi wakes.

Unsure if it's night or day, he'd shut the shutters tight even during the "day" so the light wouldn't bother Eren. Having the window open wouldn't do any good anyway since the air was stale all around.

It'd have been pitch black he'd woke to if he'd remembered to cover the stone he'd been using before he'd fallen asleep. He usually covered it too when Eren was sleeping. And Eren slept a lot. Almost as much as if he'd been recovering from one of Hanji's experiments, and he shifted as many times as he could.

Eren has managed to sit up enough, to bend partially over the edge of the bed, so he can grab at Levi's shoulder. Trying to rouse him. Levi unsure if the exhaustion on Eren's face is from the effort alone or how long it took. But Levi is impressed Eren has managed to move so much on his own.

"Don't..." Eren says, struggling "sleep on the floor."

Scolding him with all this strength he's managed is he?

Levi rises, intending to move to the chair. But Eren doesn't like that either. Grabbing onto the edge of Levi's shirt, shaking his head.

Levi frowns.

"Eren. I'm not kicking you out of bed just because you feel a little better and want me to sleep in one. You need it more than I do."

Eren gives up on trying to tug his shirt and flops back down, also frowning, his brow dipped. Thinking. Then Eren smiles, causing Levi's heart to skip. Mischievous almost, Eren rolls a little, to show he'll sleep on only half of the bed.

His breathing laboured, his speech difficult, but that satisfied smile still in place, "Captain... sick... before..."

Eren was thinking it was unlikely that Levi would catch the same illness twice so recently since he'd overcome it. It was then safe to share the bed. They were already sharing a room so it'd not make much a difference even if Levi did have a chance of getting sick again. But he'd prefer Eren have all the space for himself.

It was that and also... Levi did not think it was a good idea to share the bed with Eren, since he'd already thought about it more than was allowed and in a manner Eren was not offering. It was hard for Levi to think otherwise, with Eren's bare legs above the blankets, his nightshirt slanted across a shoulder. When Levi is about to refuse, rather huffily Eren says, quickly in one breath- "Just come already!"

Eren looking quite content and pleased with himself when Levi lies down beside him, pulling the blankets over them (but more of them over Eren). Levi covers the light of the stone. Eren already fallen back asleep. Levi sleeps soundly. Unable to resist drawing Eren into his arms. Waking only when Eren's once calm breathing turns harsh. Causing Levi to uncover the stone to look Eren over in the light. 

His condition had been better before they'd started to sleep. Had he been holding him too tightly? Maybe Eren really did need more space. When Levi tries to get off the bed, Eren manages to grab onto his shirt again, but the strength is not like before and Levi easily untangles his shirt from Eren's fingers. Eren's gaze apologetic, as if to say sorry that because he couldn't breathe Levi couldn't sleep. He lies back down when Levi gently lowers him back to his pillows. Eyes fluttering shut, worriedly upon Levi until then.

Levi stays sitting up, watching Eren. Eren's breathing gradually calming. Just a fit? Levi feels Eren's cheek. It'd been burning dangerously when he'd woke but it was cooling, drastically as if Eren was getting better. That was the thing, sometimes it did seem like Eren was getting better. But it was not the medicine, the food... Levi had assumed it was Eren sleeping so much that was helping. So he'd wanted to keep it undisturbed. Levi looks at Eren's slumbering face closely, knowing every detail even without the light, but with the light it-

The light.

Levi moves to cover the light. Waiting. Sure enough, as he can still see well in the dark, Levi sees. Eren's expression one of discomfort. His panting growing harsher. Levi presses his brow to Eren's, feeling the heat.

Levi returns the light to the room.

The drastic symptoms ceasing.

It was not uncommon that many in the underground suffer from malnutrition, depression, any malady because of lack of sunlight. But Eren was not from here, and it was too short a time for him to suffer such ailments to this degree. What he has is Levi's fever.

Eren had told him, since he'd gotten his titan shifting abilities he'd never gotten sick once.

Levi thinks, back to that first experiment Hanji had Eren do in the dark of the well. Eren had failed to transform not understanding why he couldn't, when all he should need to do is bite his hand. Hanji had surmised it may have to do with will that Eren's powers manifest, and the trigger, biting his hand was not enough. But what if it was not all just that? He had bandaged Eren's hands, since his powers weren't working then, they'd not been healing on their own like his injuries from the trial had. Eren had reported he'd been reaching for a spoon, thinking clearly he wanted to pick it up, his hand hurting as he came to grip it, and then-

Because he had been outside the dark of the well.

It'd still been day then.

His powers had not stopped working because Eren was lacking in desire.

His powers had not been working because _he needed the light_.

They had learnt too that titans grow lethargic under shadow and cannot move at night.

The moonlight, the starlight is not bright enough. Not like the sun, not like fire, not like these stones they'd found in the caverns beneath the Reiss Family's estate.

In the underground, without the sun, and little light. Eren's titan shifting abilities cannot work. And because it had been these abilities protecting him from illness, once they'd weakened, so did he to the fever.

Levi bolts out of bed. Pulling his clothes on, his boots.

With the answer he rushes out of the inn.

"Eren, just bear it a little longer! Without fail I'll save you!"

\--

The monster crosses back over the fields, through the apple orchards. Tearing through the vines of roses, the thorns cutting her, making her bleed. But she does not stop. She will not stop. She wants to find the heart she is looking for. She swallows up many a humble townsperson, the torn petals of roses red, red, red left in her wake.

When she finds that none of the hearts she's eaten be the one she desires, she travels into the deep forest, abundant with honey. Striking the nests of bees as she mistakes them to be just as sweet as that which they create, she arrives in a shining metropolis. She bites into many a refined city folk, the trail of her feet sticky with honey.

When she finds that none of the hearts she's eaten is the one she's been searching for she rushes forth to the royal grounds, having yet to search the castle.

But before she can reach there the King's knights meet her.

They lure her forth by laying down their lives.

The monster is trapped, stumbling into a deep dark pit she cannot climb the walls of.

Roaring to the heavens she can only catch a glimpse of, the monster cries, knowing if she does not escape she will never find the heart she longs for.

She paces to and fro, digging east and west, tiring in the dark, the monster stumbles back to look up into the light.

\--

When Eren opens his eyes he is surrounded by light.

The tears running down his face drying as he sits up, feeling his strength returning. Eren looks around the room. Atop the furniture, across the floor, upon the window sill. Lamps and lanterns lit up with oil all set to the strongest flame. A myriad of burning candles. What stones they've yet to trade are beside him on the bed, surrounding him all except for a small space where Captain Levi rests his head, propped up on his arms. Sleeping upon his knees. If he had intended to sleep in this position it is another Eren cannot approve.

Eren looks about the room, his heart swelling as the fevered heat leaves him but warmth remains.

Before he had been dreaming.

And before that-

Captain Levi had held him, and to his dismay had left, but as he had left he had said something. What was it that he had said? With that determined, convicted look about his face? Eren looks down at Levi. Remembering and realising what else he's already seen, Captain Levi stricken just before the fever really settled in, desperate as the last of the medicine was taken. The Captain... worried about him to such an extent. Captain Levi must have worked tirelessly to carry and arrange all this.

The light... he was feeling better because of it. He'd had a slight notion before of it, but instead of suggesting an experiment to be done at night. Something had always held him back. Fear? Instinct? Eren remembers when Annie had refused to join them in that dark tunnel. Not because she feared an ambushed within it, beyond it. But because she knew once she was within the shadow, she'd not be able to protect herself. That's right, that was the reason too... why he could not transform then. Until the light hit him...

Eren reaches a hand to slowly, softly place his fingers in Levi's hair. Stroking.

The Captain had told him he would save him.

Tears start to fall but they are not his.

Eren wonders, the Goddess Maria... did she ever find the heart of her beloved?

In truth, Eren knows the answer to that from these tears.

Eren leans forward to kiss Levi where his fingers had been.

Thinking, at the very least he has found the heart of his.

\--

As Levi blinks against the light, he's aware of the sound of a pen skimming across paper. Accompanying it every now and then, a gentle caress upon his head. Through his hair.

The fingers curling from giving such a touch, once Eren sees Levi is awake.

"Good morning, Captain."

Levi rises slowly, stretching, grimacing as he stands.

Eren hiding a smile behind his fingers, before he resumes writing in this small red journal Levi has never seen before.

Levi rearranges some stones, moving them to the nightstand with some of the lamps. So he may lie in bed next to Eren. His head near Eren's elbow, Eren glances over at him before scooting back against the pillows. Reaching to put his hand back upon the Captain's head, stroking it as he'd been doing before Levi had woken up.

Eren is reading over what he wrote, the ink drying quickly.

When he turns to ask what they will be doing today if it is indeed day, Eren sees that Levi has fallen back asleep.

Smiling to himself Eren cannot help but say,

"Good night, my Captain."

\--

With Eren's health restored, Levi informs him they've been here a week longer than planned. Eren is apprehensive, apologetic until Levi tells him it has nothing to do with him being sick. Something they may or may not find out about happened upstairs had caused the lift to not arrive when it should have.

Levi will be relieved once they leave this shit hole. He won't have to worry about Eren falling ill again so long as they're beneath the sky. And he won't have to worry about slipping up as he had here. They could go back to the way they used to be.

Once they return to the surface, Levi tells himself, Eren will not be so alluring, so coy. He'll be able to stop himself from feeling Eren up as Eren sleeps, wanting to take the nipple he's rolling between his fingers into his teeth. He'll not kiss at the back of Eren's slim and pretty neck. Or grip at that thigh of a leg he'd been complaining about when Eren could hear him, it brushing against his beneath the blankets. He won't think about how perfectly Eren's hips fit beneath the palms of his hands. Or how kissable his lips must be to be that shade of pink. He won't think of any of that beneath the light of the sun where Eren belongs, a light he has coveted.

They're packing their belongings up. Eren blowing out some of the candles, and cleaning up any of the mess the wax has made. Eren laughing, then saying to assure Levi, that he can handle it if there's a little less light. They do need to pack the lamps back up for the pick up anyway. Levi's frown clearly says he does not agree with that, him voicing this opinion crudely before helping Eren with the cleaning and packing some of the materials he'd borrowed despite his complaints. Picking out the strongest, brightest lamps for Eren to keep, "everyone can go fuck themselves," along with some stones Eren makes him put back to leave for others.

When they've transferred the lot of it, it was just a matter of waiting for the lift to arrive.

Eren is writing in his journal again, at times sighing. His face flushed. Eren jumps as he feels Levi's cool hand on his cheek. Levi scowling.

"Oi, didn't you say you were feeling better? Why is your face red, Eren?"

Eren is at a loss for words, trying to salvage some as he gapes at Captain Levi's face so close to his outside of bed.

"Sir, I am feeling better!"

Eren's hand is at his wrist, moving to hold it against his hand to keep Levi's touch there a moment longer before he pulls away from it. Uplifting his face so he may touch his brow to Levi's.

"...doesn't it feel the same?"

Levi is about to tell Eren that's 'Bullshit', but he can't, lest he want their lips to touch. Eren's nose nuzzling his briefly, his lips hovering above his as Eren rises to his feet. The journal put aside as Eren wraps his arms over his shoulders. 

"Captain. The truth is we're the same aren't we? You feel the same way I do about you."

Eren is pressing his body against his. Eren closes his eyes. Eren's lips-

Would have touched his had Levi not gripped Eren by the shoulders and pushed him away.

"Eren. What do you think you're doing?"

Eren blinks at him, surprised.

Before trying to step closer to him. Levi looks away sharply from Eren's face, his mouth.

"I knew with clarity when you saved me sir. And you've protected me and looked after me this whole while. That's why-"

Levi makes the mistake of looking at Eren's face, his eyes only on him, all on him. Levi wants to kiss Eren. Push him to this mattress, the floor, a wall. And have him. Eren would let him, here in the underground. Eren is grateful to him, depends on him, relies on him. Levi could have Eren now. Eren doesn't resist his touch at all even as Levi's grip becomes too harsh, the bruises will remain until they return to the surface.

"-you've misunderstood Eren."

"Captain?"

"I was only doing what had to be done. You would have done the same in my stead, hell you did. But you would have done it for anyone. You're mixing up your gratitude for affection. Don't push your feelings onto me."

Eren is quiet, then like a dam is bursting-

"What are you saying sir?! Aren't you doing exactly that?! You, you just assume things! And do whatever you want! How... how can you say I've misunderstood when I'm telling you honestly! Captain Levi, I lo-"

Levi snaps a hand over Eren's mouth covering it.

If Eren asks for Levi then Levi will give Eren all of him.

Levi shouldn't do that.

What he wants in return-

If he allows this, if Eren confesses anymore to him here they will not be able to leave. 

Levi knows himself better below the ground than above it.

It was the ugly truth he'd been avoiding in the pursuit of freedom.

If he wants to stop Eren then, it can't be helped. It is always such extreme measures he has to take. Eren is always pushing him to the limit.

"Shut up, shitty brat. How are we the same? You think because it gets you off I'm almost old enough to be your old man you understand me? That's what this is about, ain't that right? Eren."

It's not. If it was Levi wouldn't mind either, not when Eren would kiss him, let him hold him, his legs wrapped around his hips, his clothes off and his hands in his hair, stroking through it gently. Ah, but Levi can't have that can he? Not after he's pushed Eren away and said all this, because rather than all that, what Levi really wants is at the very least- beneath the light of day. Levi wants Eren to look at him.

But that can't be either. Eren would never think this way had it not been for his fever, the underground. Levi has understood his feelings for a long time. 

He had left this place, but this place had not left him.

Eren is not suited for this place. He is not suited for him.

For Levi to have him would be-

Levi twists the knife.

"Why do you think I'd fall in love with a kid like you anyway?"

Levi is startled as Eren bites his hand to get it away, the bite deep enough that he bleeds. 

Eren has turned away from him, to avoid showing him the tears he'd felt against his fingers.

Eren's shoulders are shaking, between anger and sorrow.

His fists balled at his sides. 

Before a hand moves up to cover his mouth to silent the sobs.

Levi watches as the blood drips from his hand onto the floor, regretting not the words but the desired effect. Levi reaches to touch Eren's shoulder.

"Eren-"

Eren jerks himself away from Levi's hand.

Levi's expression a mask of indifference.

Eren still keeping his face turned away. His voice small and wobbling when he speaks next.

"Please leave sir."

Levi replies, tone typical.

"I'll come get you when the lift is here."

After Levi shuts the door behind him, Eren does not bother to cover his mouth to quiet his crying.

\---

Levi is near the warehouse, hand to his brow as he sits against the side of the building.

Hell is here but it is not horrible enough.

Not for him.

For the first time. Eren will not forgive him. Not for this. Never for this. Even once they've returned to the surface, Eren will not be able to look at him. Levi had wanted it all returned to as it had been, but this is better. He'd been lying to himself when he'd said it'd be as it was. As if night did not come, and he would not remember Eren in his arms. Just as he could not forget Eren caring for him as well; still enraptured by the first time he'd pressed his brow to his to check his temperature. Before Eren realised how bad the fever was. Eren who worked so hard for him. Eren is so cute. Even as he had left Levi had been thinking to turn around. To return and apologise for taking advantage of Eren. Who believed his every word, who trusted him to never speak a lie. Upholding every promise, fulfilling every duty. Levi wants to kiss Eren and fill him up, until he can't cry anymore or until he cries harder. Levi unable to be that ideal of himself that exists more in Eren's heart rather than his mind.

By tearing down that ideal, the better Eren would understand to keep his distance from the reality.

Levi looks at the place on his hand where Eren had bit him. Levi presses his lips there.

\---

Levi returns to the inn once the lift has arrived.

Alarmed when he sees the door to their room is open and silence is prevalent.

No one had been at the front desk and the other guests are minding their own in their rooms without a peep, worried they may be next. Levi has been aware what sort of place his origin is, and yet-

Glass cracks beneath his boots.

Some lamps had been unpacked from the boxes. Before they'd been lit since none had caused a fire on breaking. Shattered all across the floor. Along with a number of different footsteps. More blood than what had fallen from his hand. Across the wooden floorboards, on the glass.

Something else the same shade as red.

Eren's journal.

Levi picks it up from the floor.

It remaining as their belongings do, the most important target secured.

Whoever had come, had come for Eren.

This was not a robbery but a kidnapping. Not impulsive, for greed may have encouraged them to take everything. But they'd planned to take just Eren from the start.

Levi flips open Eren's journal, skimming to the last written on page. Nothing in it reveals to Levi what he wants to know. Who had taken Eren and where had they taken him?

Levi tucks the journal away before walking over to their bags.

Uncovering.

These thieves will regret not being greedy.

Levi tucks the mantle beneath the leather straps of the 3D maneuver gear, equipping it. He double checks the gas level and the sharpness of his blades. He straps on a pistol for good measure. Swearing when he sees Eren is without his knife, as the knife is still packed away with the other weaponry. Levi takes Eren's knife with him too.

Levi thinks as he moves.

Letting instinct prevail over those movements.

From the amount of people involved to restrain him Levi could not rule out that someone had found out about Eren's identity. With Eren being confined to bed the majority of the time he'd been here. His only interaction with people had been with those who'd exchanged lamps for stones. Of course, a certain group comes to mind, and on the case of when something like this did happen in the underground there was only one place their sort went.

Levi knows every route, every street. 

Opening the window. He climbs out from it, using the 3D maneuver gear to fly forth, latching wire to whatever building or roof need be, avoiding certain buildings he knows walls and tile would deflect or crumple entirely beneath the hooks.

How long ago had Eren been taken is the problem.

He can cover and catch up a good deal of distance with the gear and the shortcuts he knows.

If they had waited until exactly he had left, away from the inn, out of sight to the warehouse-

Levi grits his teeth and flies faster, avoiding hanging laundry or olden banners that had some meaning rather than indication of location in another time.

Momentarily Levi avoids running across the roofs the closer he gets to a certain road, branching from the path most likely used. As Levi spots an elegant carriage, unusual since the aristocratic patrons of this area were no longer able to spend any coin as they'd been sentenced to hard labour in the fields. Levi makes himself known by stomping over the tile of the roof nearest to them as soon as he's caught up. The second the driver wastes by glancing back, Levi uses to latch the wires of his gear onto the carriage to launch himself forward. Flipping over, feet forward for momentum as he slams onto the roof of the carriage, smashing into it. Inside the carriage, his fist connects to a face he's seen, the bones crunching as the guy falls back, out cold alive or dead. Levi kicks behind him, into the gut, the other guy who rushes at him. Hurtling him through the backdoor and out onto the street. Before the driver can decide if he's slowed the carriage enough that it's safe to jump, Levi draws a sword, quick and bright silver. Holding it at the driver's throat. How Levi knew this carriage had to be part of the kidnapping; he recognised the driver to be the one who'd had a look first.

Levi's bloodthirst unabated as he speaks, pissed beyond reason.

"Dumbass. If you want to live. Talk."

The driver slows the carriage down, stopping it entirely, worried any small bump will cause his head to go flying.

He laughs nervously in a small show of bravado.

"Who are you calling dumbass? You fell for the decoy rather easily-"

The man screams as Levi cuts off a hand, the blood spurting across the blade Levi returns to the man's throat reflexively.

"A shame if you're left handed. The right will be next. Fucking dumbass. Talk."

Through his gasps and tears the driver manages to speak.

Levi cuts the horses from the carriage, they run off up the street sensing the danger but not loyal to their master. If he was told true, then the man may want to inform the others of his necessity to rat to avoid their judgment. But really there is no need to worry about that. Because once Levi reaches them, depending on how Eren is they'll be losing more than their hands.

He'd been told where they'd be going, where they'd end up, but Levi had not pressed for the way they were taking.

There was only one other path aside from the one the carriage had taken to the destination.

One was swift, the other covert.

The one hand man's eyes widen as he realises Levi had not bothered to ask where the other path was since _he already knows_. 

That they have stolen from another of their own. It was not uncommon, but it called for blood.

And they are not gentle folk.

Holding his coat to his stump to quell the bleeding, the one hand man trembles.

\--

The further Levi goes into the underground the more naturally he moves.

Levi doesn't bother with a sword until a knife, another with another is pulled on him as the shot of a gun rings out. A cut here and there to the offenders, to render movement impossible, at first temporary and then permanent when Levi sees Eren. Bound and gagged, walking but limping. A bruise spread across his cheek. His face is flushed and he's struggling for breath, having to be held up and dragged along. No doubt Eren had fought, resisted, but the fever had returned the darker it became...

Levi steps over the bodies he fells. Trying to clear a way, so he can fly over to Eren.

This path, leads around the underground, through an assortment of tunnels, a maze. Many who know one way through it do not know another. Exploring often meant never being seen again. Children liked to pretend that fools who ventured knowing nothing were rewarded with a way out. But adults knew the truth, you could leave the underground so long as you did not take your body with you. 

Levi knows this place as well as the streets.

Farlan and Isabel, with them they had been trying to find a way out. The marking system Farlan had managed, though mental, even Isabel had been able to memorise. Along with the 3D maneuver gear they'd stolen they managed to discover many ways through the maze. Born in the dark it could not unnerve them, even if they did not know where they were they could not be lost. They ran into many dead ends, dead bodies long decayed, avoided pits or cliffs. They found interesting places too where others had dug, treasure that someone had once tried to hide, paths that led to other paths. And then there'd been a place deep into the maze that not many knew about, or cared to venture to. Where the water that dripped and ran to them, it was found to be from rainfall. The only place where the sky could be seen through the ceiling. As if long ago, someone... something had escaped from here by climbing up.

The scum who'd thought to steal Eren from him, are before the maze and they must run. 

Those who still have legs or strength do.

They will rush onto the paths they know, to best not panic and get lost.

But fools will be fools.

Levi sheathes his sword and cocks his pistol.

Shooting a warning shot.

If they run faster then this will end quicker.

\--

There are more dead bodies to be discovered in the maze.

Levi uses them as diversions to those who are lost and need direction before using their bodies too.

He has always hated needless killing.

So many people have died for a dream, be it their own or the dream of another. This holds true to the world above them. But here they do not dream and they are not people. At the behest of others, their suffering indulged in for the sake of amusement, and they likewise to the suffering of those around them. If you brought anyone down from the surface would they become just the same as they?

They are not the same.

It is not if their scream holds the same sound, but what do you think when you hear the scream?

Not many of them remain.

Lured here, forced here.

They'd not been betting on losing such a gamble when they'd prepared so many.

Levi had thought they understood the value of who they were stealing to have invested so much, but their panicked shocked demeanor suggest a method learned, but inexperienced. A bunch of novices, unable to get by from the lack of children they used to sell. The clientele for that gone and the product depleted. Or was it only the product that they'd been lacking? Whoever the buyer was, Levi wouldn't mind doing an investigation. Their Queen would make them burn wouldn't she? With those flames of the revolution she'd set to spark. 

Levi comes off the path he'd taken, to that place he and the others had been fond of.

The sky truly, the rainfall not anymore.

Watching in the distance, the kidnapper who remains, as he drags Eren with him.

He'd been abandoned by the rest of his comrades, since most of the them were dead anyway or incapable of even saving themselves. Those capable did.

The man climbs up the path, flinching against the patches of light that seep in through the cracks in the ceiling. He would have been amazed had he not feared for his life. Water splashing beneath his shoes as he steps hurriedly over it. 

When he hears steps other than his own from the water-

He turns around.

"Stop there!"

A knife confirmed to be at Eren's throat.

Levi's pistol is aimed at the man.

The water drips in the gaps of silence between desperation and repentance.

Levi could still shoot.

Even if Eren's throat is cut he will not die.

Not from where the man has stopped, beneath the light of day, scared to move from that spot once he'd realised Levi is here in the cavern with them.

With the gear Levi could reach him, but it will not be fast enough without having what was taken from him gone forever. So the thief is thinking, knowing no way out least he has wings. Understanding only now, by seeing Levi drenched in blood and his merciless glare, what Levi had been all along... it'd been incomprehensible to them. No one got to leave the underground, not before those children they'd been making use of to get as much as the good life as they ever were going to get. It'd never occurred to them that one such as they could be with that which he has in his grasp.

Levi does not lower his pistol.

Knowing once the trigger was pulled, the knife would move.

Even if Eren would heal, as he is. From the illness, the bruises and cuts, the injuries inflicted upon him by these cretins. The steam rising steadily, increasingly beneath the sunlight. The man with the knife, paying it little mind, too concerned that should he take his eyes off Levi that'll be enough.

It would be.

Had a blink been a second longer he could probably do it.

He could reach Eren.

From this standstill, this standoff.

Eren may not ever forgive him, but Levi doesn't want to cause him any more pain than he already has. Is it atonement, should you never be graced with forgiveness? Even if he receives nothing in return, returning Eren to the surface, unharmed, well- that is all he wants to do. (Another lie. What else he wants-)

Eren has enough misery in his life, without him adding to the burden. Without him trying to drag him to his level, to keep him in the dark, with him- that is what Levi fears. Had he embraced him before, Levi would never be able to return Eren to where he should be. Taken by him and wanting to take him, Levi still wants that. And it's because he still desires that that he will save Eren. He will make sure even if he cannot be what Eren thinks of him, then at the very least some of his expectations are met. It's selfishness even so. Because if he does this, he'll get to see Eren as he should. Beneath the blue sky- more beautiful than anyone- 

Eren is looking at him.

Still in the dark.

Eren's eyes are unforgiving, enraged and unrelenting.

What Levi hopes for will not be his.

What forgiveness he desires and has always been given will not be granted, not like this.

Eren's golden gaze, bright and all consuming as the fire, will not allow him this.

Eren will allow him nothing if he does not shoot.

Pinned beneath that judging and heated gaze, Levi shudders. Repulsed by his desire and exhilarated by Eren fueling it.

Eren knows as well.

The knife will not kill him.

And neither the bullet.

Only from the nape will he lose the beating of his heart.

And also... if Levi were to deny him anymore!

In the slightest, the barrel is lowered. Levi pulls the trigger, watching as the blood flies from Eren's neck just as quickly as it stops, the steam finally noticed by the man when Eren's breath is heard. Released. As the bullet sears over the man's hand and through Eren's gag, his ear. It bleeding but a moment before healing, the gag falling. As the knife does. The grip around it gone when the bullet came into contact, scraping over the man's hand. Singed flesh smelt more than the metallic scent of blood. Eren released, twists his body. Crouching his knees, the falling knife in these brief seconds- slicing through the bindings of his wrists.

As the knife fails to cut his hands-

Levi latches the wires of the gear to the damp rock of the cavern, pulled higher up and closer but not close enough to reach Eren himself. From his position anchored against the wall, he unsheathes Eren's knife, aims, and flings it.

The knife cuts into Eren's hands, Eren catching the knife, blood spurting, just as the rope hits the ground. Atop of the other knife imbedded into the dirt.

The air of the cavern thrumming and hot, as lightning cracks. Striking past falling stone as the ceiling shakes. Crumbling away as steam scalds through the cavern. Levi flying higher, as above it as he can before it escapes. It flooding through the paths of the maze but disappearing within it as Eren stands, a titan. A foot having crushed the man with no longer a knife. The blood dried and cooked beneath the steam.

Levi takes a bet on Eren.

As he jumps from the wall, wire shooting out to latch onto the flesh of Eren's titan form. Levi running up the back, the pay off apparent when he unsheathes his swords, spinning them for a stronger thrust before plunging them into Eren's shoulder to secure his place. The blades dived in the flesh, staying and not deflected by crystal. As Eren forms them on his fingers and toes as Annie had, to climb up the wall as she'd tried before brought down by Mikasa.

Eren is unhindered as he begins to climb out of the underground. Levi with him.

\--

All the servants and soldiers try to stop the King.

His knights would have died in vain if he were to go, but the King will not be stopped.

He must go, he tells them, happy that his friend has finally returned.

He orders them to let him through and open the gates, so he may go to her.

They must do as he says for he is the King and his voice holds power over them.

The King runs into the dark of the underground.

He runs and runs and runs until he sees her.

"O my dear friend! You have returned! How I have longed for this day!"

It did not surprise or deter the King, that the Goddess Maria no longer looked as she once did many years ago. The King could tell by looking into her eyes, that she was who he'd been waiting for.

And it did not surprise the Goddess Maria that the King no longer looked as he once did many years ago. Indeed much time had passed and the King had become wrinkled and grey with age. From hearing his voice, she knew him just the same.

"Have you brought what I asked for?" the King asks.

The Goddess Maria lowers her monstrous head, "Step inside my mouth, and look for it yourself. I have brought many a heart for you to choose from. Should you find the heart worthy of me. You may take it."

That was not what the King had asked, but he had missed his friend all these years.

When the Goddess Maria opens her large mouth, the King walks inside it, looking at all the hearts that are there. 

He begins to search for the Goddess's heart.

\--

Eren does not hear him, smashing through pulverized rock then forestry as he enters the forest. Running full speed. Slowing down below the shade of taller trees, then stilling as night covers them. Immobile, sitting, as he comes to a field of flowers, but still manifested beneath the brighter than usual light of a full moon.

The stars untouched in the wilderness. They shine just as bright above them.

With this much light, Eren's titan form will not exhaust for some time and may even remain if the sun rises just as dazzling as the day before.

Eren's titan appears to be sleeping, flinching only as Levi removes his blades. Discarding them for new ones, as Levi decides he'll cut Eren out of this form. Eren perhaps already asleep within.

Levi had been sure Eren had been in control when he'd first transformed and when he'd climbed out of the underground. But once he'd made it to the surface he'd started running. Unheeding or unhearing of what Levi had to say. Even disobedient when Levi had spoken in an order. Levi did not think Eren was acting on his anger from their fight of earlier but rather was no longer conscious in titan form. Had he stopped moving sooner Levi would have cut him out already.

Levi uses the trees for leverage before flying up towards the moon, drawing back his blades to slice accurately into the nape to cut Eren out as he has scores of times previously.

Levi anchors his wires at the cut nape, looking into it in mild alarm when he does not see Eren.

It is unusual and unnerving. Levi sheathes his blades, peering into the cut to try to see where Eren may be and where else he can cut without error when he makes the mistake of stepping into the flesh to get a better idea. Having seen no indication of Eren, neither shape nor pulse.

In that moment the flesh bubbles forth, the steam rising in the moonlight as the nape heals over. Swallowing Levi inside.

\--

It is hot within the nape.

The flesh that moves and constricts about him is not wet with blood but merely soft and stifling gathered warm. It boxes in around his limbs, shifting only when Eren seeps through from elsewhere in the body. The membrane he'd seen before when he'd cut Eren out from the nape previously, attached to Eren's face, his limbs. Loosening as Eren moves closer to him. Levi unaware Eren to be sleeping, as his back is to him as he gently comes? Is pushed? Guided to lay upon his chest. Levi only seeing so with Eren resting fully against him. Levi would shake Eren awake if he could but all he can do is look as the flesh around them settles. No longer pulsing, throbbing, shifting. Content to place Eren closer to the nape- 

Now that he is here?

By whose will?

The titan's...? The First King's?

Eren's?

Levi cannot move, but Eren can.

A hand rising up from the flesh, some of the membrane detaching or stretching to allow him movement so his hand may move back to lightly place his fingers in Levi's hair, stroking until Eren comes to. His hand gliding down to cup Levi's cheek as Eren turns his face to his. His lips hovering over the other.

"You're alive, Captain Levi?"

Levi would have scowled, given this predicament was almost like he'd been eaten.

But Eren's fingers are very distracting, just as Eren's lips are as they kiss his cheek, his ear. Eren turning round against him. Both steadily being pushed up above the titan flesh. Enough for Eren to wrap his legs around Levi's hips and straddle him, but not enough for Levi to move his arms or legs.

So this is how it was going to be?

"Would I be able to talk if I were dead?"

Eren smiles, languid, awake but still dreaming.

"You may not be able to speak for different reasons other than that, sir."

Eren has returned his hand back into his hair. The other cupping his cheek, before settling to his shoulder. Grasping it as he pushes forward to press his mouth over his, Eren unrelenting until Levi opens his mouth and Eren's mouth open on his- Eren moans as Levi pushes his tongue inside. Against his tongue and teeth. Levi pants, biting at Eren's bottom lip as Eren trembles upon his lap. Eren nipping at his lips too until Levi bites his lip there again, sucking, licking at his tongue. Maybe he was dead. Levi thinks. But this isn't the hell he deserves.

Didn't he say he wouldn't think about Eren like this, much less act upon his desires, once they returned to the surface? But it is night, and just as he thought it may bring-

Levi certainly had not expected it like this.

Unminding, the more Eren kisses him. Eren's eyes shut, his long pretty eyelashes rested against his flushed cheeks. Eren's lips too soft and his mouth even hotter than the flesh pressing him down. Levi moans as Eren ruts his ass against his erection, already wetting the seat of his trousers. Eren cups his face and kisses it all over, messily, hungrily as he grinds his hips down. Levi looking from Eren's gasping mouth, down his body, to his wide hips Levi has held in his hands before. Imagining Eren making sounds similar to those he's making for him right now.

Eren's hands are both in his hair, cradling his head as Levi nuzzles his face against Eren's neck, inhaling his scent before kissing the side of it, sucking and biting there too. Causing Eren to grind his ass harder on his lap.

"Captain. Captain Levi! Please listen to me!"

Eren kisses him over the mouth, least he try to interrupt. Levi is breathless but Eren even more so as he struggles to speak, whole face flushed not only from pleasure-

"I want all of you sir. Won't you give yourself to me?"

Eren is looking at him, enraptured, lovestruck. His lips trembling as is the rest of him even though it's not as if Levi can go anywhere like this, or did Eren not know that? Levi doubts that. He's already taking advantage of the situation plenty. Levi looks over Eren's body, down his shirt as he likes to, skin still soft and smooth from his youth. Eren wanting to be plundered and taken by him. Eren gasps when he feels Levi's cock grow bigger beneath his ass, seated atop it, through the layers of clothing.

Eren is tempting, longing for him, his eyes just the same as they'd been with the light flooded in their room. But unlike as they were with the knife held at his throat. When Levi thinks which he prefers... what he deserves...

Eren has begun to kiss at his neck, beneath his chin. His hands unbuttoning what he can of his shirt before unbuckling his belt, undoing his trousers.

"Hey Eren! Stop!"

His hard cock is in Eren's hand, fisted within it. Being pumped by it. Eren's bottom lip swollen and in a pout.

"Doesn't it hurt sir? Does it hurt as much as when you left me alone at the inn?"

Eren's other hand joins in, his thumb at the tip feeling the precum that leaks from there, dripping against the knuckles of his fingers.

"Did you go beat yourself off then too sir? After you left? Like the other times?"

"Eren, how did you-"

"How did I know? My kidnappers told me. They'd been watching us, mainly you, for a while. Waiting for you to leave for long. I was just wondering Captain, were you thinking of me when they took me?"

It's still too good here to be hell, as Eren continues to touch him, pumping his cock vigorously in his hands. Eren's eyes on him, not accusingly as they should be but- Levi gives in a little. Speaking roughly.

"Of course. I'm always thinking of you. I can't stand not to-"

Eren's mouth is on his, his expression euphoric as he draws his lips away.

"Really sir?! I didn't believe them when they told me, ah, I'm so happy Captain!"

Eren is unbuttoning his shirt, borrowed from Levi. Easier to put on and more roomy than his own clothing. Selfishly Levi had changed him into it and now Eren was taking it off, stepping up from the membrane that shift upon his limbs. To remove the rest of his clothing as well.

"Don't worry sir. They didn't touch me like you want to touch me. They were certain you'd already had me before from how you were acting, so they thought I'd be adequate for their patron."

Seeing Levi's glare, Eren's whole body stiffens as he sits back up on his lap. His cock erect and dripping against his belly, as Levi says tone rough, jealous for the second he thought of another man touching Eren- "I'll gut him. Whoever the fuck is."

His intake of breath ragged once he feels directly, Eren's plump ass seated against his stimulated and tall cock. Eren's brow is furrowed as he feels how hard Levi is. Eren's face near his as he speaks-

"You do want me, don't you sir?"

When Levi does not reply, Eren kisses his cheek, his gentle caress in his hair. An arm is released, Levi unbelieving as Eren cups a hand over his and directs it to feel at his breast. To feel beneath his fingertips, his beating, pounding heart. 

"I'll forgive all that you said at the inn, if you give me your heart Captain."

Eren guides him to use his fingers and twist at a nipple. Eren gasping in alarm when Levi's touch is too rough even with encouragement.

"In exchange you can touch me as much as you like. What do you think sir?"

Levi's other hand is freed, then his legs. Until he is merely resting atop the flesh, cushioned by it. Just as his cock is cushioned between the cheeks of Eren's ass.

"You want a lot Eren. Isn't it only fair if I get the same in return?"

Eren had almost looked certain he would have his way for once, but the more Levi speaks-

"Captain?"

Levi grabs at Eren's hips, before moving down to do likewise to Eren's ass. Squeezing it.

"I want all of you too Eren."

He positions his cock at Eren's hole, his hands back at Eren's hips, he pushes Eren down onto his cock. Eren crying out from being filled by him all at once. Crying some more as Levi fucks Eren up and down his cock, grunting. Being inside Eren is hotter and softer than it is resting inside the flesh of the nape. Eren tight all around him, slick from his blood. Levi feeling guilty, since didn't he also say he wouldn't needlessly hurt Eren? But wasn't this necessity, with Eren offering himself so willingly? Unabashed and truly? Wanting to be taken by him as he should have been taken by him too long ago. It feels good. It feels so good inside Eren, even as he cries about him, his face wet and hot with tears. Levi is too big, too rough, too sudden. But Eren had said he wanted all of him didn't he? All of the real him- 

Eren bears it. Levi feels Eren move his hips beneath his touch, trying to meet his thrusts. Eren is adorable, his chest pressed to his, his heart pounding and felt against his heart pounding just the same. Eren kissing him too sweetly. His fingers in his hair. Levi moans, groping a cheek of Eren's ass as he pushes in deeper inside his Eren. Eren whimpering, his face wet against his neck, turning hot when Levi brushes and pushes into his prostrate. Eren moaning-

"Captain! Ah! Give me more! More of you Captain Levi!"

Levi cups the back of Eren's neck, gripping it before he rolls them over. Many of the membranes across Eren's face, his limbs snapping as Levi has Eren beneath him. Fucking him into the flesh of the titan, Eren crying and moaning louder as he digs his nails into Levi's back, raking across it, trails of blood in their wake as Levi penetrates him further. The both of them dropping steadily, deeper into the titan's body. It running hot as it disintegrates, the membranes of the surrounding flesh catching them, lowering them onto the ground outside the body as it steams away from skin to flesh to bones. The open field Eren's titan had stopped in is covered in white flowers, luminescent beneath the moonlight. Levi enters Eren again and again atop of the flowers. The petals getting in and onto Eren's soft brown hair, tickling with the green leaves, his skin. The dirt marring it in places to Levi's displeasure as he pounds into Eren for his pleasure. Eren's voice cracked, cum all over Eren's belly from when Levi had hit his prostrate as they'd fallen through.

Eren opens his legs wide for Levi. His toes gripping the flowers beneath him before uprooting some as he brings his knees up, pushing his ass closer to Levi's heavy and probing cock. Levi's hand is beneath Eren's head, cradling is as he sucks at a nipple, the other nipple twisted beneath his fingers. Released from his mouth when Eren begs for a kiss, the other a dark pink between his fingertips.

Levi looks between their bodies to see his cock go inside Eren, again, again. Eren still asking for more, the more Levi gives. Eren just as greedy and selfish as he.

The bruises on Eren's body from Levi's rough, possessive touch disappear once the morning sun rises and sunlight spreads across the field and over Eren's skin. Levi cums hotly and thickly inside Eren. Telling Eren to take it all. Levi still cumming as he looks at Eren beneath him, Eren looking back at him. Watching him as he looks him over. 

The places on Eren's body that Levi's body had covered, shadowed over. Make the bruises there heal slower. Levi watches until Eren's skin is unmarred, a clean slate beneath his hands and mouth. Levi pulls out as abruptly as he'd entered. Levi kissing every place a bruise or kiss mark had been, intent on laying more down. Fighting against the light of day until Eren speaks up, exhausted, that Captain Levi is not yet so as well. Wasn't it he who was supposed to get his energy from the sun? He teases Levi by wrapping his arms around him, kissing him over the mouth as Levi picks him up, sitting him besides him. Eren looking at him, thinking only of him. Eren in his embrace, and Levi's cock inside Eren not too much later as Eren asks for the rest of him. Unbelieving that that will be it.

Levi promises it isn't, and he's a man of his word ain't he?

Eren's laughter turn to moans as Levi rolls them to fuck beneath the shade of an apple tree.

\--

Eventually they are able to locate where HQ is. After reporting there they're directed to where the rest of Levi's Squad has been staying. Erwin had figured since both of them went missing neither of them could be dead. Hanji had already been telling everyone they'd eloped. While waiting for them to return from their honey moon, Levi's Squad had went with Historia to help with the children she's looking after.

Their bags had been brought to here, the farmlands the orphanage is located. The children help with the growing of crops, getting to learn the ways of the land beneath the sun. 

It won't be long until the Commander has a set of orders for them as soldiers, but for the meanwhile as citizens of the Walls, they obey Historia in her request to join her and the children in picking apples from the orchard with the rest of the Squad.

\--

Deep within the orchard, far from the others. They take a break.

Sitting beneath the shade of the apple tree, Eren reads from his red journal, the tale of the Foolish King and the Ever More Foolish Goddess.

He wants Captain Levi's opinion on if the ending sounds like an ending.

"That ain't up to me is it Eren? It's up to you. You're the one with the memory, if you can't recall it no one else can do it."

Eren is pensive.

"That's true sir."

On seeing his clouded, downcast expression, Levi continues.

"There's always going to be things like that. Where depending on the sort of person you are and the life you've lived, you're going to have to... not call the shots, but determine on if they're going to be shot to begin with. Didn't you just do that with me? Unfortunately, it's a position you end up in a lot."

Eren is quiet, but he's uplifted his face from peering at the ground just as Levi had wanted. Looking at him instead.

"Is that so sir? I quite thought the same of you... you are, amazing sir. There are things only you can do and you always do them. If it weren't for you I-"

"-would have found a way with those friends of yours to survive. It would have been a different sort of life, but you wouldn't have regretted it either if you got to live."

Eren is pouting at him for interrupting but before Eren can speak Levi interrupts again.

"It's because you are special Eren. You are what's the most important in this story. So if you feel the story is done, it's done. Simple as that."

Eren has admired Levi, for his strength and influence, relying on him to spur conviction and give him courage, confidence with the certainty that should all else fail... should he fail, Captain Levi will be there to save him. And to Levi, Eren is extraordinary. To fight with all that he has despite the odds, before him and after him. Eren could live without him. But Levi-

Cannot live without Eren.

After he has learnt what it's like to be in the light, he will not go back.

The darkness may never leave him, but he knows the truth.

To be loved purely, wholly.

They fall asleep together beneath the shade of the tree. The sun having set as they slumbered, Levi looks about beneath the starlight when he wakes. Unable to find it beautiful without seeing it upon Eren's skin.

Eren is not next to him as he should be. Levi rises, hearing the carving sounds of steel cutting into wood behind him. Levi rounds the tree, approaching from behind, Eren who has his returned knife out. Eren is writing something into the tree.

It's what a kid may do. The heart around their names, carved on the bark of a tree that will outlive them. Perhaps seen by others who will not remember them. But-

"Cute," Levi says, Eren whirling around cheeks pink because he'd not intended to get caught. But then neither had Levi.

Levi pins Eren beneath him, pressing him to the wood of the tree. Wondering which to Eren is harder, the tree or he? Eren's hands already in his hair as Levi starts to undress Eren. Then undoing his belt, his trousers as he looks at Eren's bare legs and thighs. Levi seats Eren on his cock, Eren gasping as Levi fills him. His legs around Levi's waist as Levi holds him up and takes him, pressing him to where he'd written their names into the tree.

"I'll make sure you won't regret choosing me Eren."

\--

Some days past and with help from Armin for editing, Eren presents Historia with the red journal. The story complete in his eyes, so he hopes it will be complete in her eyes as well.

Historia thanks him graciously for all his hard work and efforts. She reads the story to everyone as they have lunch by the fields.

The stalks of wheat swaying in the breeze, as gold as her hair as she reads the tale from start to finish, an ending which is their beginning-

\--

Within the mouth of the Goddess, the King finds her heart.

He examined each and every heart carefully, his own heart aching that the Goddess had went to such lengths in trying to find him the heart he desired.

He had grown old, and he had come to understand that what he had asked of the Goddess had not been right.

On seeing her dark and twisted heart the King weeps, knowing there is only one way to make amends.

Holding her heart within his hands he holds it to his breast tenderly.

He kneels down in prayer.

"O Goddess Maria, I have found your heart. But I cannot accept it, lest you accept mine as well."

The Goddess Maria closes her mouth and raises her head.

So her King had understood all along, what she had intended to do.

She has not the power to be able to climb her way out from the dark, but her King does.

Should she have his heart, that long ago had been hers, she would be able to escape.

She was going to eat the King's heart, regardless of his desires.

But in the end, he was truly her final friend, her only friend on this earth where she had gone to the ends of and returned to the beginning.

Tears stream down her face as she swallows him, her heart and his, whole.

Gaining the power she sought, she is able to climb out of the underground into the feeble rays of dusk.

As the sun sets, her monstrous form withers away up into the atmosphere.

Leaving behind neither flesh nor bone. Only a single figure with hair as black as the night sky remains.

The Goddess Maria is a Goddess no more.

It is a human being who crouches down to pick up what had fallen from the monster's mouth.

A crown as gold as her King's fair hair, but not as beautiful as her beloved's.

She dons the crown.

Rising as a Queen.

She takes for herself the name of the girl she had so dearly loved, who had inherited and ruled the fields. Kindly. Mercifully. Dutifully.

Reiss.

It is the Queen Maria Reiss who rules until the walls rise.

\--

Morning light filters through the window softly, almost as softly as Eren's breathing is.

The room smells of apple and cinnamon, from the cider he is making. Warming steadily over the small fire. Eren has fallen asleep beneath the sunlight of soon afternoon, lounging against some cushions on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket he'd draped over his shoulders.

He looks peaceful and must no longer be dreaming.

Levi shuts the door quietly behind him.

Not bothering to remove his boots or his coat as he silently makes his way across the room, to sit beside Eren.

It is what he'd wanted.

To see Eren well beneath the sunlight, returned to the surface and safe.

While danger will always be imminent with their line of work, on days such as this- it was not bad to indulge one's self.

Time does not move slowly, but it is still as Levi reaches out to touch Eren's cheek, cupping it before he leans forward to kiss him on the lips.

Having done it so many a time, it's unexpected that his sleeping beauty wakes from such a kiss.

Eren's hand is on his wrist, tugging, pulling him towards him. Not enough strength to force him, but Levi goes willingly. Eren lying back against the cushions, so Levi is hovering above him. Not enough to cover the warm light that touches Eren's lovely skin. Levi looks with envy, that it holds Eren perfectly as he wishes to, and touches him in a way Levi can't.

Levi glances to Eren's hand, reaching to touch his face, as the daylight does.

Eren smiling gently, "You look best beneath this sort of light sir."

Levi's eyes widen, unexpecting-

"When I first saw you it was on a day sort of like this. It was before I joined the Survey Corps of course. You had just returned from an expedition with all the others. You were riding your horse. I could not believe I had the luck to see you in person."

Eren's thumb is stroking his skin. Levi clasps his hand over Eren's as Eren continues.

"Even when you had stood above us, having slain that titan that would have killed me and my friends if not for you. I thought the red of evening was not as befitting as that clear white light when I first saw you."

Eren laughs.

"I'm not wrong am I, Captain Levi? It suits you, that cleanliness you always strive for."

Levi's chuckle is brief but it's enough to cause Eren to start, in surprise and in delight.

"You're too cute, Eren."

Levi leans forward as Eren leans towards him for another kiss, long and wet as their tongues meet. Levi's mouth traveling to Eren's neck, kissing there, sucking there as Eren wraps his arms around him, coaxing him to kiss him more, hold him closer.

The Goddess Maria may never have been able to possess the heart of her beloved or stand in the light the same way as she had before, but rather than that tragedy she wrought, Levi holds something else entirely.

Mutuality.

As Levi will not let Eren go, neither will Eren let go of Levi.

One cannot go into the light without the other.

Eren assures him of this with every smile he bestows him.

Levi should have known.

Since the two of them are only human.


End file.
